RealTime Coaching™ F.A.Q.
How do I coach someone who doesn’t want to be coached?
Ask them. Seriously!
Don’t think of it as “Coaching” – think of it as
communicating. Assuming you have already tried all of the RealTime
Coaching™ (RTC) questions without success, perhaps you need to be
very open - Leadership should be authentic and open. Respecting the
behavioural style to determine your directness/ approach, you need
to engage them to tell you how to best work with them – i.e. “John,
as you know, one of my objectives is to lead all team members in a
win/win manner for their professional growth and development. Having
said that, I get the sense that I may not be effective in coaching
or working with everybody and my goal is to improve my leadership.
In your case, I’d like your help. If you were in my shoes ...”
(then insert questions here). Some question phrasing may be: How
do you suggest I approach you? What do you suggest I concentrate on?
What should I do more of
and less of in supporting you? (Develop questions that you feel
comfortable with and is practical for their style)
Recently in a
client workshop, a client shared with the group that at times he has
asked a subordinate to meet in his office. He asks them to sit in
his chair, at his desk, before asking, “If
you were me, what would you do?”
is strongest when built on open and authentic communication. As
mentioned in the workshop, the trust factor is a critical foundation.
Sometimes you don’t have all the answers for your people, but if
you engage them humbly, they may share the answers with you. If you
can progress in this case it will result in greater coaching
get so busy, I find it hard to find time to Coach. Any suggestions?
It is said that the more
we speed up, the more time poverty we experience. Without knowing
all the details of your situation, we can tell you that this is a
common challenge, and one to which many managers have devised
creative solutions that work for them and their situations. As
Stephen Covey says in his 7 Habits, we are all faced with the war
between what is urgent and what is important. In a nutshell, we need
to do two things: Prioritize things that are
important, and also Posteriorize
unimportant things. By
this we mean we need to always evaluate how we can
concentrate on key actions and curtail less important activities
that offer little ROE (Return On Energy). Of course, there are some
organizational cultures that seem to attach code red urgency to everything. This challenges
sustainable long term high performance and, in some cases, when
prolonged may result in unwanted turnover. Your job as a leader is
to filter as best you can to create some balance for you and your
team. In general what we have seen is that it takes time, energy and
effort to initiate coaching habits with subordinates. Once you and
your team inculcate these habits (you get used to asking questions
and being a "do with" leader – they get used to coming to you with
solutions vs. problems) it
becomes easier, with shorter laser coaching sessions, and often
results in less fire-fighting for you down the road.
of every leader is to balance the long term benefits of coaching
with the short term urgencies that crowd your day. To
stimulate some solutions to your time poverty, have a look at Brian
Tracy’s Creative Problem
Coaching is leading with questions and therefore it is integrated
into everyday communications and interactions (in real time).
My boss is core Red and mismanages her team with her style. What do you
suggest I do?
of us can have behavioural blind spots and, as you know, the core red
is no different. It is unlikely her mismanagement is intentional.
The RTC Coaching/Communication questions are not just for
subordinates. They can also be used to achieve greater effectiveness
with your manager. Ask her what results she is trying to achieve.
What are the consequences of how she is doing it? What are the
options and how might she get better results faster? Be
frank, respectful but direct.
I have a core Green on my team and can't get her to say
she is the only one that doesn't
the rest of the sales team. What can I do?
The core green needs time to think through the questions and issues
and also likes to hear the opinions of others. Is it possible
to send out the agenda ahead of time? Is it possible to identify
questions and issues before the meeting and to encourage the team
to discuss them one-on-one prior to coming? When asking
the core green questions at the meeting, ensure the questions are
non-threatening and that you and the others remain respectfully
silent and give him/her time to answer. The reds and yellows are
generally impatient and ask the question two or three different ways
and by that time the green thinks you already have the answer and
don't need it from them. Be patient in encouraging them and if
they have some ideas when you speak to them individually, you may
want to ask if they could share it with the team at the next
of your Questions and Answers coming soon!
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